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13 Movie Reviews w/ Response

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It's still better than some things I've seen.

What the heck, at least it's practice. Maybe a bit more interactivity at the end would be good, if you could at least put a link to somewhere so I don't get bored clicking the whole screen trying to find something else to look at.

PandaPatrol responds:

Nope, can't do

1/3 of this is 3/4ths good

One of the previous reviews was right, rtil should go on his own, either that or throw some serious help on the other two. The second episode was a contrast of obscene, semi-realistic humor and a crappy depiction of a TV watcher that got even worse when he hanged himself. And the third -- what a self-declaration of crappiness. Next time toss out the disclaimer that your writing sucks and take an entire minute to think of something.

Rtil: You've got some great drawing skills, and whoever wrote for you was good too (I'm assuming it was you as well). But one thing: you should have taken the time to add at least one more illustration during the showdown, so the disgruntled customer didn't spend all the time talking with his finger in the air.

Starberry responds:

rtil is god but why doy ou have to hate teh other ones WHY WHYW HWYHY

A good start...

... but from the few strips I saw you guys need to tighten up your punchlines a bit. There's a little dead air between attempts at gags.

Otherwise it's an original format on NG and I wish you all good luck in keeping up with it.

RSQViper responds:

Thanks. Folks are still learning.

But, it would have been nice if you watched them all then reviewed, not only watched a couple. Now I don't even know what ones you saw. =(

:|

You need to read a few articles on what constitutes successful animation and writing. Your character was pretty much expressionless and the walking animation needed a lot of work. A man who hates living? How could you even tell? The silence was deafening.

The previous reviewer was right, though, and I'm not trying to be destructive. You do have potential, and I hope Tom put you on front page for a reason, but... ugh. Practice... please.

clevelandsteamer1 responds:

I always try to improve, thanks for the review :)

Excellent...

... Seems like just yesterday I was laughing at your Reading Rainbow series. Your content has gotten a lot more subtle, more universal, stayed as excellently disturbing, and the sound and other technical aspects are much improved. To anyone who hasn't seen Jeremy Lokken's work and is reading this review now, stop reading this review and play this movie!

JeremyLokken responds:

Thanks for the review. I haven't stepped back and seriously looked at how or where I am going with my work. So thanks for the mirror, so to speak. :)

Ya need a spell check and better voice-overs

Why didn't you record them to perfection? While the spontaneity and writing you had made this a pretty funny piece, some of your stumbles brought the overall rating down.

Don't get me wrong, this was about one of the funniest one-kid recordings I've heard in a long time (dare I say it reminded me of when I was 14?) and you seem pretty ahead of the curve. If you want better ratings, just use spell check and record it like you've rehearsed it.

Good job overall though.

MrCongeniality responds:

I had to do multiple recordings to get this right. I did create the graphics first actually, as you can probably tell, notice how I say "Oh crap time's up", I was watching Flash in the background and noticed that that a keyframe was about to end (it was the one that would lead into the next scene), and if I didn't hurry I would throw the flow and pace off. I can also say when I was reading the scrolling text, I know I had fucked up on one part, but my technical knowledge with sound wasn't as good as it is now, and damn, if I hadn't of lost this FLA file I would of edited the sound using Sony Vegas or Acid Pro or even Soundforge. Oh yeah, I was 16 (2 months shy of 17) at the time of this movie's conception. So yeah...you overestimated me. :P

Thanks for the review!

Much better this time

Who knows, maybe you'll get her to come around yet. :D

The timing and humor and special effects have all gotten much better since the last one of your submissions I saw.

Good luck with tha tang... haha

Ryan-Smith responds:

Cool thanks, but that tang is gonna take more than these weak plans to get.

About time someone put something like this out

...Your graphics and sound were a little bit too good for StrawberryClock, but I let that slide in my review :D

I'd been hoping to see that I wasn't the only one on Newgrounds who detested the Clock Crew, and your submission is a godsend. From a technical standpoint, it's decent too. You got the dorky voice and annoying music down pat. =D

xcloudx responds:

My graphics and sound were too good for strawberry? Eh i dont think they are that good :P

Dorky voice? hahahaha.

If she's still going nuts over children's books...

...doesn't that say something? I'm not preaching. I'm speaking from experience from 14 years ago.

Your flash started out pretty funny with the astronaut joke, but the rest of it needs a little more self-assurance, zippier humor, and the deletion of your suicide bit. It is possible, but the chances of getting anything enjoyable from a morgue setting are pretty slim, especially if you've got a toe tag on.

Ryan-Smith responds:

I want to respond to all the reviews but reviews like this are hard. Umm...you're old.

Except for the abrupt ending, an A+ project

The visual depth your project had in the beginning was amazing... it's nice too not to have to squint at a Flash for a change to make out details. Excellent camera angles, very fluid movement (as good as Samurai Jack), and a great premise. The only things I could suggest improving would be the first assassination (things just didn't gel right visually) and a longer ending. Otherwise, no complaints at all... you've got a great future ahead of you if you keep it up... just add more humor to it and you'll be famous.

SnafuDave responds:

Thanks. First assassination didn't gel right visually. Any tips on what was wrong with it exactly so I can watch out for it next time?

Don't bother sending messages if you're 10 or younger and were raised with the impression you can kill people you disagree with. Cheers.

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